A New Kind of Self Care in 2018

New Kind of Self Care in 2018 | The B Werd

When I look back on 2017, I feel like I squeezed an entire year into six months. It moved so quickly, I worked so hard and I accomplished so much. I celebrated, I explored, I grew, and I did a lot of things I told myself that I would. With pushing all of my limits came consequences. Feeling tired was an everyday thing. I also had two major health scares that included a disabling headache that lasted for four days straight and a ringing in my ear that caused temporary loss of hearing and lack of balance. It was more than scary, it was a wake up call to learn to prioritize better. It was a wake up call not to recognize when I’m doing myself more harm than good by running myself thin.

Not only did 2017 test me, I tested myself. I rarely took breaks in the name of “work” and that left me burnt out, overwhelmed and exhausted. In 2018, I’m dedicated to working just as hard in my business but more importantly, even harder to make sure that I take better care of myself. At the end of the day, if I’m not in the best shape physically, mentally and emotionally, I can’t give my best to anything else I want to pursue. We’ve been convinced that self care is monthly facials and massages or a bottle of champagne with pizza for a night in, but it’s much more than that.

I’ve learned the hard way that self care isn’t always glamorous and rarely involves lighting scented candles or dropping bath bombs in a tub. In fact, it’s actually much uglier than that. Self care is likely sitting at a table reviewing your debt and creating a plan to tackle it. It’s putting your phone down at 10 pm to make sure you can get out of bed the first time your alarm goes off for that 6 am workout. It’s being realistic about what you want to achieve and not over-promising results. It can even look like cutting ties with toxic people in order to better serve yourself. As much as we’re all aiming to achieve, self care should be preventative. It shouldn’t be something we result to after we use up every ounce of energy we have or cause ourselves to break down.

A lot of people are in the process of planning their 2018 New Years Resolutions, if they don’t already have them secured. Instead of planning to start a diet for the 10th time or committing to making a million dollars, I want us to focus on making resolutions to add value to our lives. Wake up and tell the people that matter to you that you love them, call your grandmother and take her to lunch, tell people you appreciate them so they know they’re cared for, schedule doctor and dentist appointments and create new habits that improve your overall well being. Read more books, get more rest and Find more ways to create passive income instead of exchanging time for money.

This year, let’s let self care mean being the hero of your life, not the victim. Let it mean rerouting what you do and how you do it until your everyday life isn’t something you need a vacation to recover from. It is no longer choosing a life that looks good over a life that feels good. It’s letting go of  some goals so you can focus more on others. It’s being honest even if that means you aren’t universally liked. It’s meeting your own needs so you aren’t constantly anxious and dependent on other people.

Self care this year means doing better and becoming the person you know you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that bath bombs and champagne are ways to enjoy life – not escape from it. I hope your 2018 looks exactly how you imagine. I’m going to try my damnedest to make sure mine does.

Weekend Deals

I bought these suede OTK Steve Madden boots for my sister for Christmas and she loved them! They’re currently on sale for under $60.

These studded Topshop booties were on backorder and arrived yesterday, but were definitely worth the wait. They look designer and are only $75.

I’m loving the color of this faux fur vest. Perfect for a pair of thigh high boots and denim.

The way to make a casual statement is with this festive red off the shoulder sweater.

I also bought my sister this halter top open shoulder blouse, which was perfect for her short haircut.

Every closet should have a camel colored coat in it, especially when it’s under $50.

I have this sweater in plum and definitely plan to add this beige color to my cart.

Say what you want about Ivanka Trump, these leopard heels are sexy!

This ribbed sweater is so cute! I’d definitely pair it with a bralette and high waist pants or denim.

I just ordered this oversized coat to wear with sneakers. Size down since the jacket runs big.

This turtleneck is sophisticated in the front and a party in the back. Oh, and only $30!

I love drawstring bags like this that aren’t necessarily purses, especially for when I’m traveling or exploring new cities.

A statement necklace is a necessity for dressing up simple outfits. This one is on sale and extra fancy.

I need somewhere to wear this two piece outfit to ASAP! Sexy but still classy.

Shop the Deals: 

#CoffeeTalk

Coffee Talk | The B Werd

I’m headed to Jamaica mid-February for my birthday and need some help with beachwear. I’m going with all girls and want to be sexy yet still reserved. I’m about your size and 5’6, if that helps. 

Jamaica was my favorite trip last year, so I know you’re going to have a blast! Jamaica is also a place where you need very little other than a swimsuit and cover up, so that’s what I linked below – have fun!

I’m currently using Wix to build my website and it’s slightly terrible. Do you have a website builder that you prefer or recommend?

I’m a WordPress ride or die. Hands down, the best web builder of all time. The Kanye West of website builders. No but seriously, I advocate for WordPress and suggest it to all of my clients because it allows professionally built websites without having to have a graphic designer build one from the ground up for you. When I say WordPress, I mean self hosted websites (.com’s and .nets, etc.) not imablogger.wordpress.com. As long as you get a WordPress website, you can find a template or theme to fit any site you can imagine and there are no limits to what can be designed within WordPress unlike other designers like Wix or Squarespace. I’m actually finishing up an entire e-course that will walk you through how to have an entire site up and running with WordPress in 72 hours, so look forward to that!

I know the end of Winter is typically the best time to catch good coats on sale. Any that have your eye right now? I’m trying to get a head start. Thank you!

Some of my favorite jackets that I bought this season are already on sale like this oversized denim jacket and this color block coat…. and I’m not happy about it LOL. Stock up on all the on sale coats you think you’ll need now! Here are some I’ve already purchased or are wanting to add to my collection –

I’m in a fairly new relationship (roughly about two months). Everything is going well and I have no complaints except for the fact that I bought him a Christmas gift and he didn’t get me one. He brought me to meet his family and he seemed super excited about that, but should I feel a type of way about not getting a gift or should I not have expected one so early on? My birthday’s coming up in January. Should I wait and give him the opportunity to gift me something then?

One thing I’ve had to learn is that people place value in very different places. Since the relationship is still so new, he may not know how much getting a gift would mean to you. This is my first Christmas with my fiancé and while Christmas is a huge deal for me, he didn’t celebrate it too heavily growing up so gift giving (or receiving) isn’t a big deal to him. While it’s definitely awkward giving your boyfriend something (whether small or expensive) and not getting anything in return, I’d definitely wait till your birthday to see if he does anything to make you feel special, even if it’s not necessarily a gift. The more you get to know him, the more you’ll learn what his love languages are. Women love gifts, it’s natural, but I’d try to understand his thought process a little better before making it a big problem. Let me know what happens in January girl! LOL

How would you prioritize different business ventures if you have several going on at once?

I may have addressed this in another coffee talk, but it’s always good to share the info. I work on multiple things at once and sometimes it can become super overwhelming, so I try to balance it in order of importance. If I have a major event I’m coordinating for work, I likely won’t post anything new on the blog or schedule any brand audits for that week so that I can focus on getting my event in order. Same for my business. If I’m working on putting together a workbook, or something that takes time to create, I move that up in priority and don’t work on anything else (unless it’s pressing) until I can get it done. Balance will look different everyday, but I understand that everyday something needs my focus and attention. Every morning when you wake up, pick what you’ll focus on, even if it changes halfway through the day, and make sure you do your part to contribute to the end goal.

I love your style guides that highlight dressy looks. What are some of your favorite casual looks or staple pieces in your wardrobe?

Dressy looks are great, but they’re typically stand out so much that they’re hard to rewear and just end up sitting in my closet. I’m really basic when it comes to staple pieces. I’m a fan of versatility and layering. I keep a crisp white button down that can be worn with trousers, denim or under a vest or sweater. A chunky sweater to be worn under coats or with leggings and boots. A good pair of distressed denim, a leather moto jacket, a trench coat or peacoat that can be worn with sneakers or heels. As far as shoes go, a canvas sneaker and a strappy heel is plenty to get you through any season.

I enjoy talking about helping people find jobs that foster growth and financial freedom or security. I like resumes, cover letters, job search strategy, and career fairs. I made one post in 2016 on LinkedIn about companies hiring in Dallas and it actually got over 200 views so I was like “oh people really need a job” LOL. Anywho, do you think blogging about job search, etc. can be a “thing”? How do I make it one? Is it a relevant topic to blog about? Where do I start?

Are you kidding me?! That’s an awesome topic to blog about, or even talk about in general! There are a ton of websites that focus specifically on helping people land their dream jobs or move up in the one they currently have. People need help and now, more than ever, people are laser focused on excelling in their careers and making wise moves so that their futures are secure. I know that I’d definitely read it. Regardless of how well I’m doing in my career I know that I can do better. I’d start by writing. When those thoughts come to you, start writing your “posts”. If they come to you frequently enough, you’ll know that you have enough content to keep a blog flowing. Next, thing of a blog name. Purchase a domain name and then launch your site. Tell your friends to tell a friend and gain readership. It’s actually much more easier than you think!

I know you’ve mentioned you’re not big on switching bags, but I love your taste and have to ask – Which designer bags do you think will be good investment for Spring/Summer 2018?

I’ve had the same Zac Posen bag for almost two years now. I’m seriously the worst at switching purses so I make sure I buy quality bags whenever I get around to getting a new one. I’m loving all the colorways of this Givenchy bag. It’s small, which means it can be taken anywhere, but will definitely make a statement. I’m still obsessing over all the Gucci shoulder bags, but know I won’t give it the love it deserves if I decide to buy one. This classic YSL bag is also a great bag to have long term, as well as this classic Givenchy satchel.

I found out a close friend of mine “loves me, but takes me in increments”. We’ve seen each other almost every month this year. Unfortunately, I found this out from a mutual friend of ours instead of her. I initially took offense to this being the sensitive person that I am. Do you think it’s worth discussing with the friend that made the statement? Or should I just let it be?

That’s a great question. As much as I think I would want to discuss what was said about me with who said it, the fact of the matter is, things can get really tricky because it’s a “he said, she said” situation. There’s really no way to address her without dragging the person who told you into it, now you’re at risk for losing two friends instead of one. And for all we know, she may not have even really said that. Where I am now in life and relationships, I’d likely just take the statement for what it is until I can gauge the situation for myself. I know I can be an acquired taste and a lot to digest, so I understand that people may love me but still need to take me in doses. Just keep the possibility of her saying that in your mind when you interact with her and carry on. You don’t see her often enough for it to effect your everyday life and she clearly enjoys you enough to continue to be around you.

I realize it’s just a few days before NYE, but I need help with outfit ideas! I’ve come to terms with the idea that I may just freeze and I’m OK with that. Can you help?

You know I’ve over ordered and will probably end up staying at home LOL! I love doing sequins and sparkles on NYE. Just throw a fur on, you’ll be okay 😉 see my picks below –

I’m still enjoying my Christmas break, but I could definitely use a whole month off 😉 thank you for all of the coffee talk questions! Please send any questions for next round to me via email or leave in the comments below. Have a happy and safe new year!

I Said Yes to the Dress | Berta Trunk Show

Before I’d gotten engaged, I never looked into wedding dresses. I had no clue what designers I liked, what style of dress I wanted or if I wanted a white or ivory dress. Once Nate popped the question, my sister and I started sharing dresses we thought would be a good fit for me on Instagram. It didn’t take us long to realize that Berta was hands down our favorite. Berta is an Israeli designer that always tests the barriers and boundaries of the modern world of fashion design. Her style of design is famous for bold, sexy and modern fit that incorporates vintage materials and retro styles, which was perfect for me since I love putting sexy spins on classic looks. All of her dresses are hand-crafted by one person and can take up to 12 months to complete, which is why the price point begins at $8,000.

Berta is only sold in one boutique in Texas, so when I got wind that there would be a trunk show here in Houston I knew I needed to be there. I scheduled an appointment at Impression Bridal in the Galleria area for the Saturday before Christmas and invited my sister and best friends to join me (two of which couldn’t make it). This was my first time trying on dresses, so other than watching a few episodes of Say Yes to the Dress I didn’t know what to expect, but I will say I was disappointed there was no champagne like on the show.

I was paired with a woman named T.T., who I instantly clicked with. She asked some great in depth questions that helped her read what kind of bride I was and what type of dress would make me feel most like myself. She pulled several Berta options for me because let’s be honest, I wasn’t there to see anyone else and the gowns did not disappoint. What’s so funny is, dresses that I thought I would love, didn’t necessarily wow me once I put them on. I was almost certain I was going to opt for a long sleeve backless gown and the one I chose was not one that caught my eye upon arrival, but was breathtaking on.

I had to walk past another bride trying on gowns to get out of my fitting room and each time I opened the door, her party would stare in awe. I honestly did not think I would find my dress in my first fitting and was really just going to make sure I got the chance to try on a Berta gown, but we were all floored by one gown in particular and knew that even if I continued to look, none would top this one.

Here’s a quick video of my Berta experience this past weekend:

Don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel here. I have a ton of new content in store for you guys!

After Christmas Sales

After Christmas Sales | The B WerdToday is the day to buy yourself everything you didn’t get for Christmas. Enjoy!

ABERCROMBIE | 40-60% off everything + FREE shipping over $75

AMAZON | SO many good sales!

AMERICAN EAGLE | $40 off $150+ | $25 off $100+ | $10 off $50+ with code: MERRY

ANN TAYLOR | 40% off with code SHOP40 + up to 70% off all sale items

ANTRHOPOLOGIE | extra 30% off sale items

ASOS | up to 50% off

BANANA REPUBLIC | 60% off everything

BAUBLEBAR | up to 60% off favorites!

DSW | up to 70% off + Buy a $100 gift card, get a bonus $20 one!

EXPRESS | 50% off entire purchase

FOREVER21 | Extra 30% off sale items with code EXTRA30

FRANCESCAS | 30% BOGO event + up to 70% off of clearance

GAP | 40% off everything with code WISH + an EXTRA 20% off with code GIFT + FREE shipping

J.CREW | take 30% off final sale items with code CHEERS

J.CREW FACTORY | 60% off sale items with code SIXTY

KATE SPADE | Enjoy an extra 40% off sale styles with code EXTRATREAT

KOHL’S |70% off all sale styles + 15% off of everything with code QUICK15

LOFT | 50% off everything with code WRAPITUP

MACY’S | TONS of gift specials including $10 off of $25 with code JOY25

MADEWELL | 30% off of sale styles with code YESPLEASE

NASTYGAL | up to 50% off of everything

NORDSTROM | Select styles are up to 50% off + FREE shipping

OLD NAVY | up to 75% off store wide

SEPHORA | 20% off sale styles

SHOPBOP | 25% off all sale items with code JOY25

STEVE MADDEN | 30% off all items with code JOY + FREE shipping

TARGET | Daily deals

URBAN OUTFITTERS | up to 50% off select items + 30% off all sale items

WAYFAIR | up to 80% OFF sale