#CoffeeTalk

I love your style, so wanted to get your thoughts on some looks for Coachella. Yes, I know I am planning a bit early but super excited. I am thinking a flower child vibe for one day and an edgy look for another. Any suggestions?

I’ve never been to Coachella, big crowds make me anxious – but I always live for the looks I see on social media. When I think about the festival, I think about destroyed denim, flower crowns, graphic tees, leather jackets, and lots of booties. This page has a ton of inspo photos. Here are some options for you to start with and build onto – have fun!

You always dress super nice for special events. I’m headed to a rooftop wedding in DC at the end of March. I’m sure it’ll be beautiful but also pretty cold still. What are some looks you would wear if you were going?

It’s always hard to tell exactly what you’ll be able to wear to an outdoor wedding until the day of. Will it be too cold for a split or do I need a fur? I’m sure they’ll have heaters, but I’d go with a long sleeve dress just to play it safe and if possible, heavier material. For whatever reason, my legs can bare the cold much better than any other part of my body. Here are some wedding-ready options, as well as some faux furs to carry you through if necessary. Enjoy!

I’m wanting to move to the DC area by the end of this year from California. I went to the DC area a year ago on vacation and loved it. I’m currently single, born and raised in California with no luck on the pool of men here. Do you think it’s a dumb idea to move to find love?

I wouldn’t call it a dumb idea, I’m just a firm believer that when it’s meant to be, love will find you regardless of your location. Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand where men were raised and live has a lot to do with how they approach dating. I’m certain people still find love and get married in California, but from what I’ve experienced in LA, people are there for opportunities, not relationships. DC may seem like an extreme change of pace in your favor, but also keep in mind a lot of people are in DC specifically for professional reasons and are there to propel their careers, particularly those of us young and black. It seems like the perfect place to go and find an educated man with a job and flourishing career. But keep in mind, they’re probably focused specifically on growth and establishing themselves and less on settling down – especially if they’re in their 20’s. I had a few male friends from Texas that moved to DC for business reasons after college and had little luck with dating. They were handsome, educated, had nice apartments and cars, but found it difficult to build solid relationships with women who were there to solely build a career. If you can be patient, I say go for it! I dated a ton before finding a great fit, so disappointment and break-ups will naturally come with it. It’s all apart of the process. If you’re planning to move, make sure it’s a place you can also grow mentally, professionally and personally up until you find love!

How old were you when you moved out? Did you feel pressed to move out after graduating college? And lastly, what did you do to prepare yourself to move out?

Well, I technically never “moved out”. I come from a single parent household, so after my older sister moved out my freshman year of college, I found a townhouse I really loved and moved into it with my mom. At the time, it was the perfect setup for me because I really wanted the townhouse, but couldn’t afford it fully on my own. I finished college and was very comfortable where I was with no desire to move. Mind you, my mom and I very much so have a sister type relationship and less of a mother and daughter relationship, so I never felt the need to leave my townhouse or live alone. Living with my mom worked out great for me because we split everything, so I got to live in the townhouse I loved, while still being able to put money up. I saved a lot of money by staying “home” instead of paying everything by myself, while still being able to shop, travel, etc. And I mean A LOT, of money. I still technically “live at home” although it’s my townhouse so to answer your question, I prepared to move out by being able to financially build a house from the ground up when it was time for me to do so, so I’m glad I stayed put as long as I did! If you can comfortably stay home, do it! Nothing amounts to being able to stack your money for when the time is right. Don’t let society pressure you into taking on more responsibility than you need to just because you’ve graduated or are a certain age. Do it when you’re comfortable and can financially afford to do it.

We’re throwing one of my best friends a surprise birthday party and I’ve gotten so caught up in planning everything, that I haven’t gotten a dress. The theme is “Sexy, Flirty, Thirty”, do you have any suggestions??

I know that exact feeling. I planned a surprise birthday for my sisters 30th and was overnighting a dress two days before! Here are some options for you –

Do you ever feel insecure and have to give yourself positive affirmations? You always look confident and I think I need to work on looking confident and speaking affirmations to myself.

All the time! Overall, I’m a pretty confident girl. I’m not easily broken down and I trust that I can do anything I set my mind to. I let very little outside influence get to me, but that’s just my personality. There are definitely times where I doubt or second guess myself, or even start to feel guilty for not being at a certain point in my life already – especially when it comes to seeing others build their brands much more rapidly than me. When I feel like there are things I lack, I ask myself why I’m feeling that way. Then I will talk to myself as if I already have or have already accomplished it. If I’m feeling like I’m being looked over, I’ll repeat things like “opportunities I’ve been wishing for area headed my way”. If I’m feeling like I’m being ugly to the people I care about, I’ll repeat things like “I’m becoming slow to respond and quick to listen”. I’m a firm believer that what we continually think, we bring more of. If you’re constantly thinking negatively about yourself and your life, that’s what you’ll continue to receive. Twitter pages like Daily Affirmations is a great way to start implementing positive thoughts into your lifestyle.

Do you have any podcasts you enjoy listening to? Please share!

My favorite podcasts are How I Built This, Making Oprah, Making Obama, Smart Passive Income, Side Hustle Pro and The Potter’s Touch.

Your curls have turned completely around in what seems like just a few months! I know you have already, but please share your routine and products with us again. 

Honestly, I haven’t cared for them as much as I should’ve – the main thing I did was keep heat completely off of it. I deep condition every other week using this and my Q-redew. The products my hair is really loving right now are all below!

How far have you gotten in wedding planning? Keep us updated sis!

LOL! I have gotten absolutely nothing done. We’re still trying to find a venue. We’ve found some that are nice, but nothing that we’re in love with. The ones we’re in love with, will easily cost us $50K+, so we’re going back and forth about a lot. In the next few months I literally need to find outfits for our engagement photos, book them, take them, get save the dates made – book a venue, officially extend invitations to my bridesmaids and his groomsmen, think of bridal shower ideas, and about 1000 other things. Once we get the ball rolling I’ll definitely keep you guys posted, but until then, wish us luck!

Thank you for all of the questions! I’m still recovering from Hawaii but plan to jump back into work mode this weekend. Send any questions for next week to me via email or comment down below. I hope you guys have a great weekend!

2 Comments

  1. kaiapatrice
    February 10, 2018 / 10:46 am

    I so appreciate your post about “living at home”! I’m 31 and have been living with my parents for 4 years and it’s been the best decision ever. I’ve been able to stack up, pay off my school loan and I’m almost done with my car loan. It’s been so worth it and I would never be able to do that living on my own had I given into the pressure & what society says. Thank you for your honesty because more people need to hear that!

    • Courtney
      February 10, 2018 / 12:46 pm

      Oh no problem Kaia! What’s so funny is, it was never weird to me that I was still living with one of my parents because that’s how comfortable it was for me. If living on your own is your only choice or something you can do without hurting financially, I’d advocate for it. But living on your own before you necessarily need to is worse than staying home when you’re going to be living check to check. Ain’t no shame in my game! LOL Thanks for reading xx

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