#CoffeeTalk

#CoffeeTalk | The B Werd

How do you prepare to speak to a large crowd (professionally/personally)? What advice would you give someone to help calm the nerves?

Practice makes perfect. I try to flesh out my thoughts on paper first in order to organize my delivery. Once I have an idea of exactly what I’ll be discussing, I then get in the mirror and give the speech to myself. This gets me comfortable hearing my own voice and also familiarizes me with what my wording will sound like. It also helps me observe my mannerisms and what I may need to change when I’m in front of a crowd. I can not only hear, but visually see myself wanting to use “um” and “uh”, which helps me to prevent it. I also notice I move my hands quite a bit, so I practice other methods and observe my stance. It doesn’t matter who I’m speaking in front of, male executives or a group of five year olds, all eyes on me instantly gets my nerves going. To be quite honest, I just do it! Once I get going it’s fairly easy. I focus on making eye contact with everyone in the crowd to make what I’m saying personable, but also because it makes me feel bold and less timid. You’d be so surprised by how many people purposely avoid eye contact. Fake it til you make it rings true in this instance. Wear your confidence so that others acknowledge it.

I catch your workout pics videos all the time on your Instastories and I’m definitely using you as motivation! Can you list the most comfortable shoes to get a good workout in and maybe some cute (and inexpensive) gear?

I sure will! But please don’t ask me to make any workout videos LOL. For whatever reason the last couple of months I’ve been on a huge workout kick and it’s not only made a difference in my physique but also in my work ethic. Make the time to do it and you will see the results all across the board. My favorite workout shoes are Nike fly knits and Air Max. They’re not only comfortable, but flexible as well and usually fit to the shape of your foot as opposed to your foot fitting in the shoe. I bought a collection of gear overtime because it can add up quickly but here are some you can purchase today for the low low. Yep, they’re all on sale.

You consistently provide us with gems relating to elevating our fashion game by adding staple pieces to our closet. Do you organize your closet a certain way? And can you recap your top three staple pieces for work again?

I swear I have things in my closet from 2008 that are still classic and I’m so glad I made those purchases. Timelessness for me usually boils down to quality and simplicity. Quality denim, a pair of leather pants, nice blouses, a white button-down, etc. I’m embarrassed to say that I have two closets. One where I keep my shirts, dresses, skirts and pants; and another where I keep my sweaters, coats and jackets. Each is color coordinated and organized by type of clothing. I have so much stuff in each closet that I forget I have things until I come across them again lol. I consider these three items staple pieces for my work wardrobe simply because I rotate them continuously and can use them to complete an outfit; a tailored blazer, the perfect pair of black bumps, and a little black dress that can be worn with a cardigan or under a jacket.

In May of last year I left my boyfriend because I found out he kept flying a girl in/out of town. This girl is very attractive and has a great figure. He told me it was just a fling that happened. I would consider myself to be accomplished, but I still strive for more, finishing my masters in May, I have a career that I love, am financially stable and can support myself. I recently saw my ex and that girl out, apparently he moved her to Atlanta. I don’t get it. She doesn’t work, just completed HS, and is dependent on him financially.  It just made me feel like I wasn’t enough or maybe I needed to be more dependent in order to be more attractive (be more needy and not so independent). Do you have any advice on getting over your ex when he never apologized for anything? Or have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t feel like you were enough? No shade, but in Atlanta it always seems like these men want the “stereotypical thot” I’m using the term “thot” lightly because I don’t want to judge her, but it’s that type of girl.

Woooo sister. I feel your pain. My highschool boyfriend would cheat on me alllll the time, but wouldn’t leave me and I was constantly asking myself what those girls had that I didn’t. I was pretty, ambitious, in college, employed, had his back, was supportive. The answer was nothing. It took me a while to realize that nothing was wrong with me, it was him. Now almost 10 years later, I’m here and he’s…. well, there lol. One thing that taught me was that you can’t bag on your accomplishments. If he likes her, vibes with her, lusts for her, let him. That simply means he’s not the man for you. Too many women think that if we’re independent, with a good credit score, our own place, in shape and can cook a homemade meal with our eyes closed that we’re incredibly unique and men are foolish to not value us. If you’re going to do or be any of those things, do it because that’s what makes you feel whole as a woman and good about who you are; not because you want a man to place you on a pedestal above women we think we’re better than. Did you ever think that maybe you were too much for him, as opposed to not enough? Men settle for less just like women do. You don’t need to change anything about who you are in order to be more attractive. You sound pretty lit to me! The man meant for you will legitimately think you’re the best thing ever. The world doesn’t stop when we get our feelings hurt and we shouldn’t stop evolving because our minds are wrapped around the “what if’s”. You’re coming up on a year since all of this has happened and my only advice would be to not waste another day second guessing why he decided to go that route. People are free to chase who they want. Control what you can, which is yourself, what you attract and what you allow.

I’m heading to LA with two of my girlfriends to celebrate my birthday and will only be there for 48 hours. Do you have any suggestions for daytime, brunch, and typical LA night out things to wear?

I love L.A.! The sun is almost always out and it has a dress code of it’s own, which is always fun for me. Sneakers and tee’s are definitely fine for the daytime, but you can be as glam as you want at any time of the day here. Here are some things I’d pack –

I wanted to reach out as I am in the process of creating my own blog. I feel like I need to stop bullshittin’ and just jump in and get started! I wanted to get some feedback from you though. I have bought my domain and have my host, I am currently in the process of deciding which theme and everything to use. I like the style of your blog as it is clean and easy on the eye. Did you hire a graphic/website designer to set up your blog initially or did you do it all yourself? I guess I am kind of stuck on a good theme to use and how initially to design my blog. Any tips or tricks would definitely be helpful!

Well, yes. You absolutely need to stop bullshitting and just get started! That’s truly the only way. When I chose how my blog would look, I based it off of the three blogs I was reading daily. They all were simple and easy to navigate, which was most important to me. I did not hire a graphic or web designer when I first started. Here’s my big secret to success….. ready? I googled “blog themes for WordPress”. DASSIT. I probably spent about an hour deciding through a few I had decided I liked then sent them to my friends to vote on. My theme cost me $150, and was installed for me by the person who designed it which helped me tremendously. Once it was set up, I went in and edited my fonts, coloring, banner, etc. but the hard part was one. You want a blog that is easy to read, where things are easy to find, that loads quickly and isn’t filled with distractions like loud banners or too many pop-up’s. Studies show Arial and Georgia between 11 and 14 pt are the best fonts for readers. If you’re going to take the time out to create quality content for your readers, make sure you’re making it easy for them to actually read!

My best friend is having a bachelorette party in a few weeks and is requiring that we all wear black pant jumpsuits. Any that you have your eye on?

I live for a good black jumpsuit. They’re so versatile and can be worn to brunch, to dinner, to a night out, with a detailed necklace, or a lace-bra underneath. The options are limitless. Here are some good picks. I may or may not currently have a few in my cart…

Thank you guys for all the questions! If I didn’t get to you this round, I will next time for sure. As always, feel free to submit your questions via email, Instagram or below. I got a ton of questions about the Baddie Brunch I’m speaking at here in Houston and we’ve already sold out of tickets (in four days, y’all don’t play)! Please email your full name and phone number to connect@baddiebrunch.com to get on the waitlist should we be able to get more tickets. Have a great weekend! xx

3 Comments

  1. March 11, 2017 / 8:52 am

    Awesome advice you gave the young lady with the cheating boyfriend!! I believe every woman needs those gems! It is imperative that we realize our worth and Not shifting ourselves to comply. We must accept who we are and disregard those who don’t ! 3 snaps Courtney!

    • Courtney
      March 11, 2017 / 10:39 am

      Thanks so much love! I know firsthand how much damage we do to ourselves by second guessing our worth. We’ve gotta start wrapping our minds around the fact that we’re enough and we’re not for everyone. And that’s perfectly OK! Thank you for reading! <3

  2. Tanand
    March 27, 2017 / 8:20 am

    Girl keep up the good work, you’re an awesome cheerleader for your readers, stay blessed!